he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
