chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.