Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys

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(413): Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys http://tfl.nu/qwfv

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.

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(918): The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners. http://tfl.nu/k8de

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Winning.

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(412): fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life? (717): Winning. http://tfl.nu/sgsw

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(319): View more from Iowa

you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met

(1-319): View more from Iowa

thanks it was an honor just to be nominated

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(319): you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met (1-319): thanks it was an honor just to be nominated http://tfl.nu/yswc

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(818): View more from California

What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?

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(818): What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction? http://tfl.nu/asxf

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(719): View more from Colorado

He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.

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(719): He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year. http://tfl.nu/71up

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?

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(814): where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ? http://tfl.nu/ejao

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.

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(612): I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look. http://tfl.nu/oye1

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(559): View more from California

We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.

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(559): We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child. http://tfl.nu/mund

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(254): View more from Texas

Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be

(254): View more from Texas

Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54

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(254): Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be (254): Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54 http://tfl.nu/ylh4

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(214): View more from Texas

YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD

(469): View more from Texas

My thighs feel like glass

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(214): YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD (469): My thighs feel like glass http://tfl.nu/m7pw

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(505): View more from New Mexico

He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.

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(505): He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise. http://tfl.nu/7qvp

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(616): View more from Michigan

Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds

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(616): Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds http://tfl.nu/472x

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(850): View more from Florida

She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.

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(850): She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off. http://tfl.nu/vexh

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache

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(507): I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache http://tfl.nu/4l2z

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