some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Liz is crying about burritos again.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
