Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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