Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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