you mean i was at the winter classic?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize