I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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