put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize