So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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