The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
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figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
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At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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