Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
