What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize