You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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