I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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