I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
