Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
