Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
