Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
