your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
