I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I've blown a few things in my day
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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