he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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