omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
