Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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