i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I have already put on my inside pants.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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