do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
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i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
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Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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