We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just found puke in my bra..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
