Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
