Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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