My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
