her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
