And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
