She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
