Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize