Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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