Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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