Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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