am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
