Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
