If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
