On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize