It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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