She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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