Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
