You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
