i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
