Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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