i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
