Kiss
Puke
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
