I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
