new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
