Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
