wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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