wrigley field is MILF paradise
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
