I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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