dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
