So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
vagina is talking i cant
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
