like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
