Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
