Im at strip club and am horny
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
