we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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