Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
