Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
