I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
