I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
