My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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